I have developed, especially for steroid seekers, a list of
benefits to help them decide whether steroids are such
a good idea after all.
1. You will be the envy of other drugs addicts.
Other drugs can cause you to lose reality and be
delusional. Steroids will knock you into a whole
different dimension of existence
2. You will experience a significant personality
change. You will not have to worry about being
bullied because YOU will be the bully.
3. You will be extremely aggressive but the
delusional feeling of superiority will cause this to
be a guilt-free experience
4. Your triple digit heart rate will be higher than
bunnies and other nervous rodents.
5. Your extreme sweating will not offend romantic
partners because they will have dumped you for
being so aggressive and nasty.
6. Those happy, warm feelings of screaming and
yelling for no good reason……on the bus, in
church, on planes, in elevators.
7. The attractive skin rash usually mistaken for sun
burn or an STD
8. Increased occurrence of throwing weights on the
floor, yelling at gym members etc. Your tantrums
get you an audition for a funny commercial and
maybe reality TV.
9. Gym membership cancellation due to vulgarity
towards employees and gym members means you
meet more guys just like you in the gym from hell
until even they can’t stand your psychotic
outbursts.
10. Finally, in the end you just stay home by yourself
and admire your temporary muscles in the mirror
This is not to mention several non- benefits like
imbalanced cholesterol levels, liver damage,, heart
problems, man boobs, enlarged prostate , acne, other
internal organ damage plus tiny shrunken testicles.
Not to worry about this because your life will be short
any way because you’ve used steroids. So enjoy your
beautiful muscles while you can …but not for long.
Got a favourite story about a whacky juicer? Share it
with me. I’m writing a book to shed light on the major
health issue of illegal steroid abuse.